Friday, May 23, 2014

What if Men Could Get Pregnant?

1. “If men got pregnant, you could get an abortion at the ATM. Let’s state the obvious.” —Selina Meyer on Veep

2. “If men could get pregnant, abortion clinics would be like a Starbucks. There would be two on every block and four in every airport. And the morning-after pill would come in different flavors like sea salt and cool ranch.” —Nasim Pedrad playing Arianna Huffington on SNL

3. “I flat-out guarantee you that if men were biologically responsible for procreation, there’d be paid family leave in every Fortune 500.” —Sam Seaborn on the West Wing

Addendum (1/21/2017): “If penises could do what pussies could do, they’d be on postage stamps.” —Jane Fonda